51-year-old K wrote to tell me that after a lifetime spent following rules, she’s excited to be breaking some of them and coming up with new ones of her own. She told me that she reads my blog because she finds the stories of midlife reinvention inspiring. I told her I thought her own was pretty inspiring and she agreed to let me share what she wrote.
I am 51 and just now going through a divorce after almost 19 years of marriage. Our sex life was very vanilla. I got tired of “faking” my life. Five years ago I started thinking about getting out but had to rebuild my career after a 5-year stint being a stay-at-home mom. My kids are now 11 and 13. It took me five years to financially get back to where I was before I made the decision to stay home. I am terrified and excited at the prospect of being on my own again.
It is gratifying to read the stories of so many sexy, self-assured, intelligent women on your blog. Even though I don’t know any of them, I feel a kinship, like you all are my support group and cheerleaders. Like many on this web site, I am a big advocate of physical fitness and sexual empowerment. It is so important to surround ourselves with people (men and women) who celebrate and support who we are and where we are in our lives.
One thing I have learned the older I get is that we are all a work in progress. What our needs are today may be different from what they are in the future and I am learning to be okay with that. Fifty was an epiphany for me. I had always played by the rules in each decade of my life. The 20s were about college and career, 30s and 40s were about marriage and family. But there is no road map for 50 on. Everything is an option.
Are you a 50+ woman who wants to share your story of midlife transformation? E-mail your narrative and photo to firstname.lastname@example.org