Sexual health advocate Bonnie Gayle, 50, is the founder of Sex Butter, an organic orgasmic enhancer and lubricant that’s healing and soothing for both men and women. After a lifetime of body shame and avoiding the camera, she became a boudoir enthusiast in her 40s and is about to have her fourth shoot! Read on for her inspirational story.
Having a boudoir shoot was nothing I ever really thought about until I was in my mid 40s and created a product that was sexually oriented. Growing up, I hated the way I looked and was always told how unphotogenic I was. Because of the criticism and how I felt about the way I looked, I never wanted to be in front of a camera, and found myself always being the one taking the photos of others.
It wasn’t until I was in my later 40s that I saw myself as being beautiful, so when the opportunity for a boudoir shoot arose I was both excited and nervous. What really appealed to me about doing a boudoir photo shoot was that it was risqué, and I was always a little on the rebellious side. Exposing my sensuality and my body publicly was against everything I knew growing up.
Prior to my first boudoir shoot a few years ago, the only professional photos I had were either school photos, wedding party photos, or family portraits in which I never seemed to look good. It wasn’t a surprise how nervous I was when the day arrived. From the moment I got to the location, I had a feeling my life was about to change but I didn’t know how. Upon arrival, I was taken into a room where I was transformed from plain Jane in sweats into someone I barely recognized. My hair and makeup were done and I was in sexy lingerie. I looked and felt like a temptress!
After a glass or two of champagne and some sexy music playing in the background, I was ready to go! I had been transformed into a sexually empowered woman. The photographer suggested that I let my eyes tell my story. The advice was perfect. I allowed my eyes to show exactly how I felt: seductive, erotic, self-confident, sly, and HOT! I had such an amazing few hours in bed alone being witnessed as I never had before. By the last half hour of the shoot, I was totally naked and didn’t feel even a little bit shy. This was a far cry from the woman who wouldn’t allow a single photo of herself.
A few days later, the photographer had the photos ready and I logged into her site to view them. Oh, my God! I couldn’t believe that was me! They were by far the most amazing photos I had ever seen of myself. I saw myself as sexy for the first time in my life. I was so proud of how my body looked. My confidence factor went from a 3 to a 9 overnight.
Since my first boudoir shoot, I’ve seen myself in a totally different way. I’m not afraid of my body anymore, and if I don’t love how I look then I do something healthy to change what I’m not comfortable with. I’m getting ready for boudoir shoot #4 and I’m really excited. Once I made the commitment, ideas started flowing. Watch out world, because I’m 50ish and feeling hottish!
When Bonnie turned 41, she had a life-changing experience stemming from early perimenopause. The drastic physical change in her body sent her on a quest for something that didn’t exist: a healthy product to soothe vaginal dryness and pain and help her feel sexually empowered again. So she created Sex Butter, an organic orgasmic enhancer and lubricant used not only by women going through menopause, but by cancer survivors, abuse victims, and women with other conditions causing vaginal discomfort. Men love the product too, and report quicker recovery time, more intense orgasms, and for those suffering from ED, the ability to maintain an erection. What started off as a mission to save herself and her body became a mission to help women and couples heal.