Not long ago I asked one of my more adventuresome lovers to help me scratch off an item far up on my sexual bucket list: a dungeon. My lover obliged, but with the caveat that I purchase the appropriate outfit. He told me the place we were going had a strict dress code: leather, rubber and latex only. Absolutely no cloth. And as for shoes, I had to wear either platform or stiletto boots. I was taken aback by all the rules, but tantalized by the prospect of going to what promised to be a high-end dungeon. I envisioned gorgeous Anne Rice characters tied to wall hooks, their shapely buttocks being flogged by gorgeous dominatrixes, or being yanked around by their jewel-encrusted collars.
I hadn’t a clue about where to shop for dungeon attire. My lover directed me to stores like Syren that offer latex coutoure at five-star prices. I do not, sadly, have room in my budget for $400 corsets, so I surfed the net for something in a single mom’s price range.
Finally, I stumbled upon Lingerie Diva, an on-line store that offers lingerie that middle-class women can afford. After looking through a smorgasbord of corsets, I finally settled on a classic black style in rubber that happened to be on sale for $57.44.
There was definitely a learning curve to keeping my breasts packed in while fastening the clasps, but once I got it on, it fit beautifully and made my waist look tiny.
I also purchased latex pants for $35.99. They were skin-tight and required some serious shimmying to get into, but were surprisingly comfortable. As an added sexy bonus, they zip from front to back for easy access,
To complete the outfit, I found a delightful pair of come-fuck-me faux-leather stiletto boots for $67.95. Despite the imposing buckles, they have a side zipper that makes them easy to get on. They’re not so easy to walk in, but then, they’re not exactly meant for walking.
For panache, I picked up a crotchless pearl thong — because, why not? — from Wicked Temptations. At $7.00, it’s a steal compared with the infamous Bracli pearl thong, which retails for a whopping $75. I think the Wicked Temptations version looks prettier than the Bracli because of the lovely “W” created by two lines of pearls. I loved the way the black lace and pearl strands peeked out from under the latex.
When my lover and I parked outside the dungeon, he motioned to a young woman rather clunkily dressed in a boxy skirt and clogs.
“Guess where she’s going?” he said, chuckling.
I watched the woman clomping across our path. She looked better suited for a game of Dungeons and Dragons, than partaking of an actual Dungeon.
“I thought you said there was a dress code? You told me everyone had to wear latex!”
“I told you you had to wear latex,” he grinned. “I didn’t say anything about them.”
The evening went swiftly downhill from there.
The dungeon consisted of several rooms in a seedy concrete building, stocked with various BDSM accoutrements: flogging stations, swings, a doghouse, a crucifix, various tables and hooks, and a candlelit narrow corridor leading to a velvet throne known as “Blowjob Alley.”
It was hardly the orgiastic display of debauched beautiful people I’d imagined. The dungeon-goers seemed like melancholy outliers, and not one of them was wearing latex or a pearl thong.
A dominatrix dragged a naked, forlorn man around on a leash. Three women took turns flogging a groaning man’s ass. Six chubby young women in garish, smudged lipstick sat in a circle around an old coot who could have passed for Santa Claus. He held a bizarre stuffed elephant mask which he spent a copious amount of time fastening upon the reverential face of each woman. It was, hands down, the creepiest thing I’ve ever seen.
I turned to my lover, who looked bored out of his gills.
“This is it?” I asked.
“This is why I made you buy latex,” he said.
Then he took my hand and led me to Blowjob Alley.