Jack Anderson is many things: a lawyer, writer, producer, and especially a woman’s man. I discovered his blogs on men’s issues in The Huffington Post and was struck by the way he obviously appreciates and understands midlife women. So struck, in fact, that I hunted him down on Facebook and asked him if I could re-post the piece you’re about to read now, which could also be titled 10 Reasons Women In Their 50s Should Date Jack Anderson.
1. She’s a woman and she gets things done.
Fellas, from the day we come out of the womb we have been playing catch-up when it comes to the wisdom and maturity of a woman. She was way ahead of us on the school playground when she gave us that first kiss and we didn’t know what was happening, and she sure as hell is light years ahead of us in her fifth decade. She gets things done, and you don’t have to worry about it. Why? Because she thought of it before you ever did.
2. She’s sexy as hell.
Sharon Stone. Kelly Preston. Kathy Ireland. Nigella Lawson. Elle MacPherson. Vanessa Williams. Michelle Pfeiffer. Yeah, exactly. And then there’s Elizabeth Hurley currently in the latest sexcapade series, “The Royals,” on E!. Granted, Liz doesn’t officially cross over the 5-0 threshold till June 10th, but, OH MY GOD! If there is any doubt that she is the hottest woman on the planet right now, just check out the show and how she defines royal hotness as Queen Helena in a fresh new set of insane lingerie every week. Click here and try to keep your mouth closed when you do.
3. She knows what she wants.
When was the last time you heard a woman in her 50s say she didn’t know what she wanted? I would venture to say, uh, never (and if she doesn’t know, run). She will tell you, clearer than a mountain stream in Tibet, what she wants in life, how she’s going to get it, where it’s going to come from, and why it’s so important. Here’s the best part: she doesn’t expect you to know what/how/why/where/who you want to be when you start dating her. But one thing is for certain — after a few weeks, months, a year or two, tops, you better start figuring it out, because if you don’t, she’s gone. Poof. Bye-bye loser guy.
4. She turns the bedroom into a sex adventure park.
Gail Sheehy, in her book Sex and the Seasoned Woman, wrote the following: “The middle years, between 50 and 65, constitute the apex of adult life…for women, the passage to be made is from pleasing to mastery.” The National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior discovered that 71% of 50-somethings surveyed — more than any other age group — said their last sexual experience resulted in orgasm.
Buckle up guys if you wander into her sex adventure park, where you are going to find more experimentation, more toys, more of anything and everything when it comes to sensuality. She’s also much more likely to wear lingerie, which she probably wears daily, because she loves it. One woman recently told me that her lingerie “is the first thing next to my skin, and that lace or silk is going to project onto everything and everyone around me. Hello!
Ali Cudby, a lingerie expert and CEO of Fab Foundations in Washington, DC, who I interviewed for a Livinghealthy.com article about lingerie, said “lingerie is the superhero costume behind the clothes. It makes her Wonder Woman. By wearing lingerie, it sends a message [to yourself ] that you are awesome. So everything that you decide to do that day gets dipped into awesome sauce.”
5. She is WAY over her ex and doesn’t want to talk about him, at all (red alert: nor should you!)
When a man goes on a date with a woman, the last thing he wants to hear about from her is her ex. A woman in her 50s SO gets that because she doesn’t want to talk about her ex — at all. One big reason why she doesn’t is because she doesn’t have to. Her children are usually gone (Reason #6) so she probably hasn’t spoken to him in weeks, months, hell, maybe even years.
The last thing she wants to hear, from you, is anything about your ex. She’s moved on and so should you. If you don’t, then she’s moving on, far far away from your sorry ass. So follow her lead and move onward and upward with her, out of the grip of the ex -Death Star of Divorce, for good. Everyone will feel much happier if you do.
6. She loves kids, has grown kids, and definitely doesn’t want any more.
More likely than not, her kids are out of the house or just about to leave. That means no early nights to get back for the babysitter or last-minute cancellations because her kids are sick or just being brats. She can go out every night of the week. The super-crappy schedule of every other weekend and Wednesday availability is gone.
She still loves kids dearly and can love yours just as much. But the best thing of all is the last thing in the world she wants is more kids. It’s her time now and all she wants is to have fun. Maybe a lot of fun (reason #4).
7. She wants to make you the center of attention.
If she was married before, she learned an awful lot about men during her first marriage and even more if she’s had a second or third ex. She’s committed to correcting the past mistakes, miseries, and mishaps of her marriage (or marriages) and wants and needs a man that she can be a true partner with — one who she wants to take care of (if she doesn’t, run!). Her kids are grown (reason #6), so she doesn’t need to take care of anyone else but herself and hopefully you.
8. She doesn’t need you.
She may want you, but she doesn’t need you. She is almost always independent and often extremely independent. She’s hopefully financially independent as well, has a solid job, and stands on solid terra firma when it comes to her emotional and financial stability. She’s looking for a partner but the last thing she wants is another dependent.
9. She is comfortable in her own skin, and doesn’t crawl under yours.
She is more content with herself than her younger 20s, 30s, and 40s sisters, because, according to a Gallup Survey, she’s just plain happier than they are. One reason might be she’s already gone through the tough inner work on herself to get to that magical place of inner peace and joy. Whatever the reason is, it’s great because happiness suppresses drama, and we all know high drama in a woman is the worst and completely sucks the air out of your happiness bubble. One guy I know, for example, is dating a younger woman who, when she’s not happy with herself or him, sits on the floor and pouts like a 5-year-old. As Sweet Brown famously says, “Ain’t nobody got time for that!”
10. She can still sport a bikini and look awesome in it.
The visual evidence is splashed all across Facebook this month of hot women in their 50s, walking around in their tiny little bikinis as they scamper across the sands of Florida and the Caribbean beaches. They are often standing next to their daughters, sporting wide Ray-Bans and wider smiles, looking more like older sisters than moms. Then there is the added impact of Cindy Crawford (who, by the way, turns 50 next year) with an un-retouched photo of herself in her lingerie, setting off a firestorm of women in their 50s proudly showcasing their fit, fantastic bodies in a phantasmagorical display of bikinis.
God bless American women in their 50s.
Guys, pick up the phone now and ask her out before someone else beats you to it.
Jack Anderson writes about men and their issues in an ever-changing world in a column for The Huffington Post entitled “You’ve Got Male.” He also speaks on health issues nationally for The Washington Speakers Bureau. His first book, Stand By Her: A Breast Cancer Guide For Men, was selected by the Wall Street Journal as one of the best health books of 2009. He has appeared on Today, CNN and ESPN, and has written for a wide variety of publications, including The New York Times and Rolling Stone. He lives and works in New York City as a writer, producer, director, and attorney, and is the founder of The Farm, a creative/production/design company in New York. He is the father of two boys turning into men at college.